Let's Paint the Town Red

A few weeks ago I read a blog which said that that the common housefly was the most common bug in India. I completely and respectfully disagree. The most common Indian bug is by far the Great Indian Litterbug.

Do you know why more law suits are filed in USA than in India? The population of India is much more, we have a more diverse culture. So, then why is litigation not on the rise here? The answer is – if Indian Courts gave even a dime to a person who, let’s say, slipped over a banana peel, every citizen in India would be in Court. Our streets are not paved with cement or tar, but rather, with paper, plastic and other sorts of garbage. Our ‘Green India’ initiative does not mean growing plants or trees, but instead growing algae and moss. It achieves the final goal –a green India.

Indeed, we Indians are the best at letting things go. Especially things like wrappers, bottles, tickets and waste.  Even if a dustbin is two feet away, we prefer to throw our stuff on the street, because we think it adds to the décor. How chic!

Garbage Maze!
(Image taken from here.)

Its not all bad, though. The thrash offers to be a wonderful play thing for children. The thrash is so thick that children often play hide and seek or try to find their way out of the maze created by the garbage. There was an article in the newspaper the other day about a boy who jumped off a building, but whose fall was broken by the garbage accumulated outside his building.

But we have to give it to ourselves; we really know how to paint the town red. Because of paan the government is saving millions on red paint. Railway stations and government offices just get painted themselves.

Swimming pools maybe a rare sight in some countries, but not here. Outside every other house you will find a pool of water which was once used to clean houses, clothes and what not. Kids love it! And not just kids, its fun for all ages. Who doesn't like crossing a puddle of muck on their way to work?

“Wash basin? What’s that?”  We are world renowned for our ‘Spit Anywhere’ policy, whereby we not only litter the streets, but also our own shoes. But who cares, right? I think its time we all connected turbines to our mouths, so that when the country spits, enough electricity could be generated in a day to power an entire city for a week. Energy crisis resolved!

Thus, I salute us, the Great Indian Litterbugs, who will read this article on their phones while eating a frankie, and who will throw the frankie wrapper on the street as soon as they are done with it. 

(Visit http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/ for more.)

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Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Desk

“Hey the Cops are coming! What do we do?”

“Quick! Go to sleep!”

Indeed, while earlier the Police needed a warrant to arrest you, now they may also need a warrant to wake you up.

Everyone knows what they’ll see as soon as they put on the ‘Lok Sabha’ channel on T.V. Many even criticize our politicians for taking long naps whilst laws are being discussed and passed. But aren’t they just exercising one of their Fundamental Rights?

This year the S.C., in a judgement which is a beacon of hope for all students who snooze on the last bench in class or those public servants who take power naps during work, had declared that the ‘Right to Sleep’ was a ‘Fundamental Right’. Probably taking inspiration from the movie ‘Inception’, the S.C. has taken a ‘leap of faith’ by incorporating these ‘radical notions’ in its judgment. The judgment is definitely a step forward. Surely, when nothing goes into my head when I pay full attention in a lecture, there is no harm in resting my eyes and letting my subconscious try its luck. After all, the brain does perform 20 times faster in sleep. And counting sheep does sound much better than counting the number of case laws I have to read this year. Who knows, maybe the ‘Facebook’-ing or ‘Whats App’-ing may also be Fundamental Rights someday <Fingers crossed>