Saying Good Bye to Pimples

“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”

-          Rodney Dangerfield

A few months ago my (now ex-) girlfriend broke up with me. We were standing near the college fountain when she gave me 'the talk'. I still don't understand how the conversation ended in her crying and me getting slapped on the face. 

It hurts when people don't love us... It hurts when people misunderstand us… But it hurts more when you get slapped and your pimples-covered cheeks get slapped. That really hurts!

Oh no! Pimples!
(Image taken from here.)

I took solace in the fact that I was once again single and ready to mingle. I was back in the game! For the days that followed I approached almost every girl in my class (except Rita). That's right, all 27 of them. Unfortunately, I got rejected 27 times. I was severely depressed. Back in the day women found me irresistible. Now they want nothing to do with me. I walked up to my bathroom mirror and began examining myself. For minutes, I pondered. Then it struck me. In the past two years the only substantial change in me, was that my face was now covered with marks and pimples. 

I anxiously sought counsel of my roommate, Raj, who's face was as clear as crystal. 

"Raj." I said, "I you play football all day, in the sun. Yet how come your face is always clear, fair, oil-free and fresh?"

Raj was reluctant to give away his secret at first, but then I reminded him some favours I had done for him, for which he owed me. Raj slowly took out a tube from his bag. It was Garnier Pure Active Neem Face Wash. I looked at the tube of Garnier Pure Active Face Wash in awe. Was it possible that the answer to all my problems was now in the palm of my hand?

Raj told me that the Garnier Pure Active Neem Face Wash was enriched with Neem Leaf Extract and Tea-Tree Oil, and helps prevent pimples by:-

1. Fighting bacteria.

2. Deep cleansing pores to remove impurities caused by pollution.

3. Removing excess oil which can attract dirt, germs and bacteria.

(Image taken from here.)

At first I was skeptical, I thought that Face Wash was something only women used. But, boy, was I wrong! I tried Garnier Pure Active Face Wash for a few weeks, and lo and behold, my face was clear and fair. Girls began approaching me and asking me out, while Rita watched with jealousy from afar. She confessed to a friend that she regretted her decision of breaking up with me. She also secretly met me and said she wanted to get back together again. I told her to take a hike and went my own way. I have Garnier Pure Active Face wash. No girl is beyond my reach now.

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To find out more about Garnier Pure Active Face Wash go:  bit.ly/GPABlogLinkIndiBloggerActivity and bit.ly/GarnierPureActiveNeemWebsite

Asus v. Asus - A Difficult Choice

Being a hardcore techie I need electronic devices which are quick and strong. I expect nothing short of the best from my devices. Also, being a banker, I need devices which are not just functionally efficient, but which have a smart look. Currently, I'm in bit of a dilemma. I can't choose between two amazing devices- 

(i) the Compact and Light Weight ASUS EeeBook X205TA

and  

(ii) the Simple, Versatile and Powerful ASUS All In One PC ET2040.

Now, both these devices are manufactured by the most reputed brand in the field of electronic devices, i.e. Asus. Both devices are easy on the wallet. So lets take a look at the other factors that, which I need to take into account, before making my decision. (Man! If this was 'Sophie's Choice', it would be a much shorter movie.)

ASUS EeeBook X205TA
(Image taken from here.)

The ASUS EeeBook X205TA comes with a 2-cell battery which will ensure that I can work continuously, without having to look for a charging point every two minutes. Its full-sized chiclet keyboard is amazing, to say the least, and can endure over 10,000,000 keystrokes. 

Furthermore, Eeebook currently comes with a one year subscription to full versions of Microsoft Word, Excel, Outlook, Powerpoint, Access, Publisher and OneNote. But that's not all, Asus is also offering 1 TB of online cloud storage. I would never require an external hard disk ever again. Also, the device weighs merely 1 kg. So if I was ever deciding between taking your girlfriend for a trip or taking the ASUS EeeBook X205TA, I would always choose the ASUS EeeBook X205TA, its lighter, more sleek and definitely smarter.

ASUS All In One PC ET2040
Image taken from here.

They say Superman can run faster than a speeding bullet. Well, the ASUS All In One PC ET2040  is even faster. It also features a 19.5-inch HD widescreen display with such a high resolution that you will never feel like watching videos on anything else. And you've heard the phrase 'sharing is caring' haven't you? The ASUS All-in-One PC ET2040 comes with three SuperSpeed USB 3.0 ports that are capable of recharging other devices that can charge via USB much faster. Not to mention, transferring data between devices is also quicker. Worried about compatibility of the USB 3.0 with existing USB 2.0 devices? No worries. Its fully compatible.

Want to feel like Tony Stark? Want to be able to use your electronic device from a distance simply by hand gestures? Well, your prayers have been answered. With the ASUS All In One PC ET2040 you can control browse the internet, use applications and do much more from up to 5 meters away because of its Hand-Gesture Recognition Software (HGRS). If I take this device I'm going to have to start saying good bye  to my key board and mouse. In fact I can gladly wave good bye to ever having to even touch my screen. 

So which one do I choose? Well isn't it obvious. I'm taking them both!

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Check out all the features of ASUS EeeBook X205TA and ASUS All In One PC ET2040, and lets see if you can make a choice. I dare you!

Crushing it!

There is this girl called Vrinda in my batch, in college. Every lecture I would sit behind her and contemplate a varied number of scenarios which would end in us hugging or kissing. Not a minute passed in which I wasn’t thinking about her. When I would walk around the vegetable market and see a gourd, I would think, “That’s curvy. But not as curvy as Vrinda.” When I would see a bird, I would think “Graceful, but not as graceful as Vrinda.”

The Hike
(Image taken from here.)

Finally, I could not take it anymore. Valentines Day was nearing and I decided that no matter what, I would propose to her on that day. I strategically suggested to a group of single friends in my batch (including Vrinda), that while the couples were celebrating Valentines Day, we singles could go for a hike. Accordingly, a plan was made to spend the entire day at the National Park. 

We had a jolly time. There was a moment when Vrinda almost slipped. I, who was standing right behind her as always, caught her as she fell into my arms, and asked with a mixture of concern and happiness, “Are you alright?” Fortunately, she was. 

We reached the top of the hill at 6.00 p.m. My friends were enjoying the view after a tiring climb. However, I was busy enjoying an even more beautiful view – Vrinda.

When it became 6.30 p.m., I caught Vrinda by the hand and took her aside, away from the others. I started talking to her about the weather, nature and other random topics, all the while looking up at the sky. She found my behavior odd, to say the least. 

The Moment
(Image taken from here.)

Then, suddenly, I heard the sound of a plane approaching. I instantly looked towards the source of the sound. The plane was the one I hired specially for Vrinda for that special occasion. The plane had a banner at the back with the words, “Vrinda, will you be mine?” She looked at the message in the sky with utter surprise. She then turned to look at me, but I was already on my knee. I proposed to her. I professed my love for her and told her that she was the most beautiful, intelligent and caring girl I had ever met. By the time I was done I was sweating profusely. My heart was beating a mile-a-minute. I looked into her eyes, awaiting a reply. She then uttered the best word in the English language, “Yes!”

I stood up. We looked at each other for over a minute. It was a minute which felt like a decade. Cupid had hit us with his arrows. As I was drowning in her eyes. I bent forward and kissed her. We then sat there, with her head on my shoulder, as we enjoyed the beautiful sunset.

*****

I woke up in my room. It was all just a dream. For a second I was depressed, but then I looked at the calendar. It was still 13th February, and I knew exactly how I would propose on the 14th. Time to hire a plane!

Check out: http://cupidgames.closeup.in/

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Let's Paint the Town Red

A few weeks ago I read a blog which said that that the common housefly was the most common bug in India. I completely and respectfully disagree. The most common Indian bug is by far the Great Indian Litterbug.

Do you know why more law suits are filed in USA than in India? The population of India is much more, we have a more diverse culture. So, then why is litigation not on the rise here? The answer is – if Indian Courts gave even a dime to a person who, let’s say, slipped over a banana peel, every citizen in India would be in Court. Our streets are not paved with cement or tar, but rather, with paper, plastic and other sorts of garbage. Our ‘Green India’ initiative does not mean growing plants or trees, but instead growing algae and moss. It achieves the final goal –a green India.

Indeed, we Indians are the best at letting things go. Especially things like wrappers, bottles, tickets and waste.  Even if a dustbin is two feet away, we prefer to throw our stuff on the street, because we think it adds to the décor. How chic!

Garbage Maze!
(Image taken from here.)

Its not all bad, though. The thrash offers to be a wonderful play thing for children. The thrash is so thick that children often play hide and seek or try to find their way out of the maze created by the garbage. There was an article in the newspaper the other day about a boy who jumped off a building, but whose fall was broken by the garbage accumulated outside his building.

But we have to give it to ourselves; we really know how to paint the town red. Because of paan the government is saving millions on red paint. Railway stations and government offices just get painted themselves.

Swimming pools maybe a rare sight in some countries, but not here. Outside every other house you will find a pool of water which was once used to clean houses, clothes and what not. Kids love it! And not just kids, its fun for all ages. Who doesn't like crossing a puddle of muck on their way to work?

“Wash basin? What’s that?”  We are world renowned for our ‘Spit Anywhere’ policy, whereby we not only litter the streets, but also our own shoes. But who cares, right? I think its time we all connected turbines to our mouths, so that when the country spits, enough electricity could be generated in a day to power an entire city for a week. Energy crisis resolved!

Thus, I salute us, the Great Indian Litterbugs, who will read this article on their phones while eating a frankie, and who will throw the frankie wrapper on the street as soon as they are done with it. 

(Visit http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/ for more.)

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In Bangalore? Bech Quikr, Without Fikar

 So here’s the thing. I’m shifting to Bangalore next month and until yesterday I had a thousand problems in my mind. New city. New life. Limited cash. But yesterday when my friend told me about bangalore.quikr.com, I felt as though somebody lifted an anvil off my head. All my problems were suddenly solved. When I have QuikrBangalore, I know I can overcome any obstacle I may face in this city to which I am a complete stranger.   

Here are some of the problems I had and the solutions I found on bangalore.quikr.com:

Problem #23:- Makaan: Roti and Kapda is fine. But it is so hard to find reasonably priced accommodation in a city like Bangalore.

Solution: My problem was solved in 3 simple steps. 1) Go to bangalore.quikr.com 2) Look for apartments on rent 3) Pick my favourite. Simple, isn’t it?

Screenshot of
bangalore.quikr.com

Problem #146:- Mobile: I’ll be needing a new dual-sim mobile, so that I can use my Bangalore number and Mumbai number.

Solution: Thanks to QuikrBangalore, I can choose from hundreds of affordable and attractive phones.

Problem #689:- Going places: I’m told that public transport is a pain in Bangalore. Unfortunately with my limited funds, I cannot afford a brand new car.

Solution: Check out cars or two-wheelers on bangalore.quikr.com.

Problem #348:- Companionship: I have no friends and family in Bangalore. I’m going to get lonely. (Sniff... Sniff...)

Solution: On bangalore.quikr.com I can get the most adorable pets. I never have to be lonely again!

Screenshot of
bangalore.quikr.com

Problem #753:- Girls: Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them. My grand parents have been running behind me, pestering me to tie the knot. When I told them I got a job at Bangalore, they sighed, “Now we will never get to see our grand kids.”

Solution: Quikr Bangalore has thought of everything. Indeed, they try to satisfy all your requirements and needs. When my friend told me that Quikr Bangalore also has category called ‘Matrimonial’, I knew I was sorted!

Problem #892:- You’re fired!: The only reason I’m going to Bangalore is because I landed a job there, and I was concerned what I would do if I lost my job. (And trust me there is a very good chance of that happening.)

Solution: Varied sub-categories of jobs can be found on Quikr.

  

Problem #1000:- I have so much stuff: So when I get cool new stuff from Quikr, what do I with my old stuff?

Solution: Sell it on Quikr! 

I can go on and on, but I think I’ve made my point.

I must now bid you all farewell in advance. The next time you beloved readers will be seeing my posts, they will be ‘Made in Bangalore’. Luckily, I do not have much to pack, as I will arrange for most (or rather all) of my things through bangalore.quikr.com. Thanks to Quikr Bangalore, I do not have to take Lock Stock and Barrel. I can now travel light and also light-minded!

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Be All You Can Be.... #UseYourAnd

Captain America: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away then what are you? 

Iron Man: A Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.

Captain America: What about you Monica, what are you?

Monica: Lawyer. Blogger. Philanthropist. Wife. Writer. Philosopher. Mother. Model. Social Activist. Actor…. (The list goes on.)

Monica is indeed the complete package. A convergence of several avatars. She can change a diaper with one hand while drafting a legal contract with another. And while there are several MCPs (Male Chauvinistic Pigs) who snicker at this very fact, she knows what she is, and is proud of it.

She is inter alia:-

Super lawyer: A tigress in the workplace. She shows no mercy to competitors. She is looked at with envy by her male counterparts and with awe by her female colleagues.

Super mom: In complete contrast, she is the loving and caring mother who nurtures and protects her children. The evidence to that are her lovely and superintendent son (Exhibit ‘A’) and daughter (Exhibit ‘B’).

Image taken from here.

Super wife: Always looking out for her beloved and forgetful hubby. She is good at some other things too…, but this blog is child friendly ;)

Super citizen: Whether its organizing a charity drive, blood donation camps or sweeping the streets, she is always at the forefront, taking charge.

Super model and actress: More of a hobby than a job. But still no less than any professional. Generally participates in street plays to spread awareness on social issues.

Super Woman

Image taken from here.

And finally, she is just an amazing woman in general. Words cannot describe all that she is. Not just that, she is an inspiration to many who have also followed in her footsteps and have started expanding their horizons. She used her ‘AND’. You #UseYourAnd too!


This post is dedicated to Monica Mishra – the perfect woman.

 “This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus”

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Hey! We are also on Blogmint. Do check us out!

Don’t Compromise – Ever! #UseYourAnd

“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.”

-Rorschach (Watchmen)

Monica was a state level debate champion and probably one of the feistiest girls I knew. She was as restless and ferocious as the sea. So, when her parents told her to quit law college, she blew the roof. Her parents wanted her to get married to marry Ramesh, the son of her father’s best friend. Law was a five year course and she had only completed her first year, whereas her parents wanted to get her married that year itself.

Now, normally Monica would just refuse to marry and would continue with her studies, despite what her parents told her. But there was one problem – she liked Rames. In fact, she loved him him. She called me to her house to seek my advice.

“I don’t know what to do.” she said as she shaved he legs with Gillette Venus Razor, “should I marry Ramesh OR should I pursue my law degree?”

I asked her why she could not do both. She looked at me with disbelief for a second, as if I was mad. She said that one could not be a successful corporate lawyer, a good wife and a caring mother at the same time. I admitted to her that I could not pretend to know what that’s like since I was not a woman, but I assured her it was not unprecedented. ‘#UseYourAnd’ and not your ‘Or’, I urged her.

Image taken from here.

She looked at the Gillette Venus Razor which she was holding in her hand, for a whole minute. I don’t know what clicked in her mind, but she immediately called Ramesh and said “Look Ramesh, if you want to do this, you have to let me pursue my career. I’m getting my law degree and I’m going to work to be one of the best lawyers this city has seen. Nothing you say can change that. I’m not just going to sit at home all day waiting for you If you are okay with that, then great. If not, then goodbye! Deal or no deal?”

For a few seconds there was silence, then Ramesh said, “Deal! I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

This incident took place 7 years ago. Today Monica works at one of the best corporate law firms in Mumbai. She and Ramesh have two lovely kids. And they both couldn’t have been happier.

See what happens when #UseYourAnd ?

This post is dedicated to Monica Mishra – the perfect woman.

 “This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus".

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Hey! We are also on Blogmint. Do check us out!

Bagging the Perfect V Day

 I was lying on my bed with my cell phone in my hand. I spent two hours looking at her pictures. My love. My life – Vrinda. I met her for the first time on the first day of kindergarten. I remember some of the other children were bullying her and pulling her hair, until I intervened. After that we became best friends. We have had our fair share of of arguments, ups and downs, but who hasn’t? Now here we are at the age of 23, and now we are more than just best friends.

This elegant sari is available here
at best prices, only on baggout.com 

Valentines Day was coming soon and I was contemplated what to plan with her for the special day. I took a break from admiring her pictures and signed in on baggout.com, to see what to get her for Valentines Day. I saw an elegant sari and decided to get it for her. I slowly drifted off and fell into a deep sleep.

“Hi”, I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes to find I was no longer in my room. I was in an open, mysterious place, under a white sky and with an a plain white ground extending to as far as the eye could see. Standing before me was a beautiful maiden wearing a white gown.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Calm down” she said, smiling at me the whole time, “I just want to now what you have planned for Valentines Day.”

I thought about Vrinda and replied, “Look. You seem to be a nice girl, but I already have a girlfriend.”

She laughed playfully. “No silly.” she replied, “That’s not what I meant. I know all about you and Vrinda. I’ve been watching you both for quite some time now.” She continued to look at me.

“Well?” she shouted.

“ ’Well’, what?”.

“What have you planned for Valentines Day?”

“Oh. I’m not really sure. Vrinda is the best girl in the world. I’m really lucky to have somebody like her. I really wish there was something special I could do for her. I feel so powerless!”

The angel-like figure leaned forward and whispered, “What if you had power? Limitless power!”

“Huh.” I chuckled, “If only that was possible.”

She stood straight again and said, “So be it. On 14^th February you shall possess unlimited power. Make the best of it.” She winked.

I woke up and found myself in my room. I chalked up the entire thing to a dream and went about regular life.

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Earring available here.

It was 11.58 pm on 13^th February. I was getting ready to call Vrinda to wish her a happy Valentines Day. I had bought that beautiful sari, I saw earlier and a pair of earrings from Baggout, to give her on the 14^th. At the strike of midnight, I called her and wished her a happy Valentines Day. She wished me back and said that she wished I was there.  I also said that I wished I was with her too.

To myself I found myself standing in front of her door with chocolates and flowers. The dream was real! I rang her doorbell and she was delighted to see me.

Amazing Winter Wear available here.

I discussed where she wanted to go for Valentines Day. She sarcastically said that she wanted to go to Paris. One second later we found ourselves standing on the Eiffel Tower. We visited the Louvre and admired the beautiful art. Then she told me she wanted to go on a hot air balloon. We landed in Melbourne riding a hot air balloon. She felt a bit of a chill. I took out my phone, searched for some winter wear on baggout.com and with a snap of my fingers wished it for her.

Available at unbelievable
prices here on Baggout

We went to many romantic destinations, watched movies and ate at the best restaurants. When it became 11.30 pm I wished us back home. I then used my powers to freeze time, so that everything in the world became still except her and me.  Then, I kissed her and un-paused time.

I gave her the goodies I got for her from Baggout. It turned out that even she got me a t-shirt from baggout.

She thanked me for organizing such an amazing Valentines Day, but she added – “I would have been happy even if you only got me these goodies from Baggout."

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I woke up, due to my phone ringing. I realized that the entire thing was a dream. Valentines Day was yet to come. I answered my friend’s call. He told me about this contest that was being organized by Baggout, where one could win a  Dream “V Day”, a Royal V Day Dinner and much more! Perhaps my dream can become a reality even without super powers. ;)

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"This post has been written for Baggout’s Blogging Contest on Valentine’s day. Baggout provides awesome deals on Flipkart, Myntra, Jabong, Snapdeal, Amazon and 100+ other online stores."